“Rejoice in the things that are present; all else is beyond thee.” – Montaigne
Jill and I have reached that point in our relationship at which we’ve become aware of how quickly time is slipping by. It seems like just a few years ago we were talking about having kids and now we’re talking about the best choice of high school for them. I occasionally glance at our wedding picture in our living room and realize how quickly the years are passing. As that old Wallflowers song goes, “Man I ain’t changed, but I know I ain’t the same.”
When time begins moving quicker than we’d like, we must focus on living in the present. While this might sound cliche, we’ve found that many couples can’t seem to move beyond their past, while others consume themselves with the future (“Scarlett O’Hara syndrome”). Either problem can cloud our ability to enjoy the present.
To make the most of the present we need to rediscover the overlooked moments that are hidden in the “in-between” times of our lives. Our schedules are ruled by a combination of routine events (work, church, shopping, gym) and life events (holidays, birthday parties, anniversaries, vacations), but the idyllic moments are often found in the in-between spaces, during those rare moments of calm.
We usually waste these precious opportunities by turning on the TV, hopping on a laptop, busying ourselves with work, and finding other ways of tuning out. Or, we can begin to tune in. We can quiet the distractions, open up our eyes, and observe life’s moments as they happen. It’s when we soak in these seemingly banal scenes… a spouse cooking dinner or folding laundry, a child playing the piano or doing homework, a baby studying their favorite toy… that we can appreciate the million little moments that constitute the gift of the time that we’ve been given.
This post is part of a new series, Taking Your Marriage From Fine to Fabulous, in which we are partnering with a few other awesome bloggers to encourage you to take your good marriage and make it great. We will be promoting their posts on our Facebook page and will be sharing all the posts with you here in a few weeks!
“…the idyllic moments are often found in the in-between spaces.” I love this statement. It is so very true and, yet, so easy to forget. I can be guilty of waiting for the big events– of thinking there needs to be some dramatic plan for it be important. But, really, the things that deepen and strengthen our marriage are often buried in the mundane. Finding them can be half the fun.
Yes – living in the present. Instead of always wishing for more quiet moments together, I want to start making the most of the other moments we get to spend together.
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