When we teach our marriage prep classes, we end every six week class with a panel discussion of married couples who share their collective wisdom about marriage. One of the couples we use time and time again have been married 30-40 years and have been through many ups and downs. But we love how much they just LOVE being married.
One of the things they are refreshingly honest about is how fulfilling their sex life is. While this is creepy if you think about your parents still loving sex, it is totally not creepy when you think about how much you want to be loving sex when you have been married 40 years. You DO want to still be loving sex with your spouse 40 years from now, right?
Here is the thing about sex. The media wants us to believe good sex is hooking up with some hot guy or girl you don’t know well, taking them home and having “hanging from the rafters” wild, hot sex. Married sex on the other hand is portrayed as boring, mundane or something that one spouse has to endure (or it’s not portrayed at all). Well media, we beg to differ.
Listen. There is a lot about marriage that is not sexy. Especially if you are raising children. I think we covered that in our post about…… well, belching. But just because a lot of our day isn’t exceptionally sexy, it doesn’t mean that married couples can’t have great sex. As married couples, let’s recognize that sex shouldn’t be “dirty” to be exciting, but that sex between husband and wife can be the very best sex possible.
The thing that makes long term, monogamous sex so amazing is that you can be completely vulnerable with one another. You know each other in every possibly intimate way. You can be free to let each other know exactly what you like and don’t like (of course this should be done in a respectful way). You can be incredibly goofy with each other or deeply romantic. There is something really powerful about connecting with the person with whom you journey through life. And while we may not see this kind of sex depicted in the media, every couple has the chance to break the stereotype, and like the couple we reference above, celebrate decades of fulfilling, God-honoring, exciting and mutually-gratifying sex.
This post is part of a new series, Taking Your Marriage From Fine to Fabulous, in which we are partnering with a few other awesome bloggers to encourage you to take your good marriage and make it great. We will be promoting their posts on our Facebook page and will be sharing all the posts with you here in a few weeks!
